Here is a headline that I did not want to read today:

"Monkeys Control a Robot Arm With Their Thoughts"

Yes, that is right, a monkey can control a robot arm, with its mind!!!!! Holy crap, that just freaks me out. Want to be even more freaked out? Here is a video of that monkey controlling that robot arm with his mind:

What the hell is next? A giant robot with a monkey in it, reeking havoc in the streets. This is like something out of a comic book.

NOTE: this is the "official" announcement of DMTU's entry into the world. If you got this via email, sorry for the duplication. I'll try to provide more narrative later.

DMTU - day one

"The waiting is the hardest part" -- Tom Petty

Argyle was due on Friday. If history had repeated itself, Em would have woken me up around 2 AM Friday morning  and 5 hours later it would have all been over. But when scheduled C-sections are not involved, labor and delivery is rarely predictable.

When MLTU was born we had little time to wait. That last week was full of activity. It was Em's final week at work and her entire family was coming to town for Easter. There was a lot of planning and phone calls about who was staying where, what we were doing and where to eat dinner. That Saturday was perfect. We had a long walk through the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, went to the Brooklyn Museum and had a huge "Easter dinner" at Moutard, our favorite French place in Park Slope.

And then, at 2 AM on her due date, MLTU began her rapid journey into the world. It was all over so fast, we hardly had time to think "when is this kid coming?"

But this time is a little different. For starters, there is no holiday this weekend to distract us and the "whole family" is 20 minutes down the road. Then there is the fact that Em's sister is in town to help with the birth so there is another person nearby who is also waiting. And finally there is the fact that this time we know that we likely only have a few hours from first contraction to delivery, so we are a little more anxious about making it to the hospital on time.

I left work on Friday with everyone saying "good luck" and "see you after Memorial Day". But now it looks more likely that I will be in the office tomorrow and on my 10 AM conference call.

On the one hand, Tom Petty was right, the waiting is the hardest part. I really want to meet this kid and find out what he or she is like. Em and I are both ready for this to be over and to have a newborn again.

But on the other hand this has been a great weekend. MLTU is at her summer home (the Grandparent's house) to make things easier when labor does begin and Em did not go to work this weekend. For the first time in a long time, we actually got to spend the whole weekend together. And just like before MLTU was born, we have had time to just hang out, watch TV (and eat dinner while watching TV) and take an hour long walk together.

Right before MLTU was born our doula told us that we should reflect on the moments before the birth because our time as a couple was about to end out our time as a family was about to begin. It seemed like a daunting statement at the time, but in retrospect, it made total sense. Once you have a child it is no longer "you and me" it is "all of us".

And while I would never in a million years go back to a time before MLTU was in our life, it has been nice to have a pause while we wait and enjoy the simple moments that couples have. Any day now the three of us will become the four of us.

Two final side notes:

- MLTU was looking at the infant car seat the other day and I said to her "Do you know who that is for?" She responded "My baby sister." After my heart melted, I explained to her that we don't know if Argyle is a girl or a boy to which she responded "My baby brother." Man I love that kid.

- During our walk Em had this brilliant observation on nostalgia: "I think that it is important to look back on the past with humor, because we were pretty stupid back then."

I love my wife.

It was wrong last month, it is even more wrong this month.

AL East Standing on May 16, 2008:

Really, I am fine with the Yankees being in last place. They are playing .500 ball and in this divisions that puts you at 4th or 5th place (this is not the NL Central after all).

But Tampa Bay is in first place???? Come on Boston, cowboy up and win a few. This is just wrong.

nedesque -- synonym for gloomy

Happy Birthday MLTU.

It is hard to believe that in 2 short years you have grown from being this little baby:

Baby MLTU

Into this little girl:

MLTU at 2

I know that parenting is an adventure with a lot of twists and turns, and I have no clue what is coming next, but I can say that this kid has made these last two years an absolute joy. 

Dear Mr. Stewart:

Sir. I have watched your nightly faux news program for years and consider myself a huge fan of your work. The commentary that you and your crack team of writers develop on a daily basis is far and away superior to that of any late night comedy program on television. In short (no pun intended) you are the gold standard for social and political comedy in the 21st century. For these reasons sir, I am happy to except your offer to join your writing staff.

Now you may be thinking, "who is this FAU, and is he talking about?" But let's not be coy Mr. Stewart. You know what I am talking about. Oh no? Allow me to explain.

You see, yesterday at approximately 1 PM I composed this post in which I made a protracted joke at the expense of the Parisian police on roller skates. And then, to my surprise, while watching your program last night I heard a familiar joke about 1:52 into this segment on the Olympic torch relay:

Alas, I do not have time for a full blown analysis of the controversy surrounding the upcoming 2008 Olympics in Beijing, China, but I did want to comment on the events in Paris today surrounding the torch.

The Olympic torch has become something of a touchstone for protesters upset with China over its policy on Tibet and support for the government in Sudan. The torch relay has been met with protesters in Greece when it was lit, in London over the weekend and in Paris today. Leave it to the French to kick things up a notch, it is reported that the flame actually WENT OUT today during the fracas (which included a banner being hung from the Eiffel Tower, of course).  

But here is what I LOVE: I'm looking at the photos of the protests on NYTimes.com and I see this:

French Police

And I think "Man, things are getting heated, the cops have riot gear on. Those shoulder pads look like something out of the NFL. Hmmm, what are those funny helmets?"

And then, I see this:

Cops on skates2

And now I think, "Wait a minute, are those French Cops wearing Rollerblades? No, that can't be right, maybe they are just standing on some fancy French Police boot."

But then I see this:

Cops on skates

Ummmm...isn't this, like backwards or something?

American League East Standing -- 4.6.08:

I mean, I know it's April and you should NEVER look at th standings in April, but WTF? The O's have lost ONE game and Boston is in LAST place (and just got swept by the Jays)? What year is this? Did I not get the memo, is this 1997 or something?

Well, at least Dan is happy. I suppose that is an upside.

Oh, yeah, I realize I have not talked politics in forever so...ummm....vote Obama!! That is all.

Thanks to rain out on Monday the Yankees home opener was moved to Prime Time on Tuesday. This helped restore the natural order of the universe (because everyone knows that the Baseball season should not start until April) and it allowed MLTU to experience her first Opening Day game (albeit on TV).

While watching the game I taught MLTU some new words including "baseball", "Je-ter" and "A-Wad". She held strong through the first inning, but then started to lose interest (she is two after all). But she watched long enough to see A-Rod get his first RBI of the year. I think she enjoyed herself.

MLTU loves NYY