An open letter to Jon Stewart
Dear Mr. Stewart:
Sir. I have watched your nightly faux news program for years and consider myself a huge fan of your work. The commentary that you and your crack team of writers develop on a daily basis is far and away superior to that of any late night comedy program on television. In short (no pun intended) you are the gold standard for social and political comedy in the 21st century. For these reasons sir, I am happy to except your offer to join your writing staff.
Now you may be thinking, "who is this FAU, and is he talking about?" But let's not be coy Mr. Stewart. You know what I am talking about. Oh no? Allow me to explain.
You see, yesterday at approximately 1 PM I composed this post in which I made a protracted joke at the expense of the Parisian police on roller skates. And then, to my surprise, while watching your program last night I heard a familiar joke about 1:52 into this segment on the Olympic torch relay:
Hmmm...interesting, it seems that my comedy must have inspired you and your writers. I can only take this to mean that you a kneeling before my clearly superior comedy writing skills and are using this blatant plagiarism as an elaborate, and humorous, way to offer me a position on your staff. Well, I accept the offer and my attorney will be in contact to negotiate the terms of my contract (I will of course expect residuals for the above material, I hear that I now get payment for online views as well).
One final note: I will say that the addition of the Xanadu pun was a nice touch, and timely considering the Broadway show. I did consider something similar but decided that it was too...obvious for my tastes.
Thank you again for the offer. I look forward to working with you in the future.
Sincerely yours,
FAU
