17 posts tagged “em”

You get better results asking for stuff when you talk to the right ear

Fun fact about FAU: I am deaf in one ear.

As a 14 year old boy I was struck in the head by a bolt of lightning while on top of a mountain in Maine. Luckily for me the only permanent damage I sustained was an almost total loss of hearing in my right ear.

So when I saw this post on Boing Boing I immediately took notice. These results explain a lot to me.

When you are deaf in one ear you essentially have no hearing “depth perception”. If someone calls to you across a field you do not know where they are standing because you don’t have the perception to figure out where the sound is coming from.

For almost 20 years I have found that I need to focus very hard when I listen to people and try to make sure I am not distracted. Background noises (like the TV or radio) easily pull my attention away from conversation and I can’t listen to two things at once.

Now I learn that it is a double whammy. I am not only deaf in one ear, I am deaf in THE MORE IMPORTANT EAR. Well, at least this gives me yet another excuse when Em says I am not listening to her: “Sorry honey, I only have one (sub par) ear.”

Our friend Mama (who's married to Papa) was in town for a visit with their son, 3B.

Mama and Em went out onto the porch with DMTU, leaving MLTU and 3B inside to play. The mothers thought that their 3 year old angels were "playing music", but it turns out they were "cooking":

I am not sure what is more impressive: The fact that these two kids were able to open a cabinet, grab an appropriate sized tupperware, have the forethought to put on bibs, open the refrigerator, grab food, open containers and mix them together...

OR

The fact that they combined three things (yogurt, milk and jam) that actually might taste good together and actually had the consistency of "soup" (which is what they called it). Note that Em stopped them right before they were able to add olives.

We tried to get them to sample their concoction, but they passed.

The lesson: leave two kids alone in a not-so-child-proofed home and you never know what will happen. 

Without too much pain and suffering on all sides, MLTU is now potty trained. It took us about four solid weeks of bribes and coaching, but we had only a few accidents and not too many tears.

I credit Em with how smoothly this went. Three key decisions she made a long time ago pathed the way for success: changing MLTU's diaper in the bathroom once she was too old for the changing table (teaching her that the bathroom is where you do your businesss), dumping all #2's from the diaper into the toilet so MLTU got use to flushing (and to reduce the smell), and allowing MLTU to be fully or patially naked in the house during potty training (removing a barrier).

Unfortunatly for me MLTU has latched on to the nudity part, especially now that it is summer. She turned to me the other day and said "Daddy, can I get naked?" When I told her I didn't think she should her response was "but it's such a nice day". Oh, well in THAT case...

And once naked, MLTU will go to the bathroom outside as well as on the potty. At first I didn't have a problem with this. It's our yard, she can pee outside if she wants (many of her friends do the same). But now she has started "reading a magazine" in the yard as well. And she has decided she can get naked and pee in anyones yard (even friends who are not so like minded).

Of course all this freaks me out. A three year old girl who is willing to drop trow anytime and even strip at her brother's birthday party is not fun for a father like me to watch. Em is more liberal with these things and has declared that three is "the summer of naked" and that MLTU is just expressing herself.

Indeed.

Em does agree that the world is not MLTU's toilet bowl and we are setting limits on where and what she can evacuate. But it seems that I am going to have to get use to coming home from work to find my daughter running through the yard in her birthday suit. Oh the joys of parenting. 

I guess I'm one of the lucky few who happen to that the same initials as a university. In addition to being my monogram (and handle), FAU is also Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton.

Years ago I had a FAU hat and it just occurred to me that it may be time to buy another one. So, now that I have the chainsaw I wanted (bought it today), this is my next coveted purchase:

FAU

Funny side note: I showed the hat to Em and she gave this response:

You know that they were just sitting around saying "Dude, Florida University, that it is a great name for a school." Then they put it on the letterhead and someone said "Ummmm, we better put something in the middle there."

My wife is brilliant.

Yesterday was my mid-ish-thirty-something birthday. Despite being on edge about work, I tried to put things I can't control out of my mind and just relax a little bit.

On Saturday A Mistake and I went to see Watchmen. The movie was OK. I agree with his (and others) assessment that it probably shouldn't have been made into a film. Visually it was stunning, but there is only so much you do on film with source material that is so highly character driven. I will say that while it was a three hour movie it did not feel like one, so that was a plus. After the movie we grabbed a quick dinner (bacon cheese burger...ummmmm) and debated the relevance of mass media in the era of the internet and decentralized/diffused media outlets. Good times.  

Back at home I enjoyed an excellent Rye Manhattan while watching Weeds on DVD. Mary-Louise Parker and whiskey = excellent.

Sunday morning Em made me sausage patties and scrambled eggs (with cheese) for breakfast. I also got to eat a chocolate covered mini cheesecake once breakfast was over.

The day itself was fairly quiet. Em went to work and I just took care of things at the house. We met up in the evening and had a great dinner sans-kids. I had a martini and lamb with garlic mashed potatoes (yummmy). After dinner Em and I took a walk and debated the merits/reality of single-payer healthcare in the U.S. Her bottom line: we need a single payer system, mine: it will never pass Congress and I am still not sure its the best idea.

So to recap, it was a weekend full of cocktails, meals with meat products and healthy debate. But the best part of the weekend was MLTU turning to me and saying, "Happy birthday Daddy".

Thanks to everyone for all of the well wishes.

I'm not sure why, but I still belong to a "DVD of the month" club. I just declined my "Director's Selection" and somehow simply clicking "no thanks" was not a visceral enough response to convey how much I DO NOT WANT TO OWN this film:

Directors Selection

FAU and family are going on our first "real" vacation since MLTU was born. We're off to visit Em's sister in Cape Town, South Africa.

Yes, it's 17 hours on a plane with two kids, yes I hate flying and yes I won't be able to do my normal "two drinks before the flight and fall asleep for half the time", but when that part is over we will be in South Africa for a week!

I love that Em's sense of adventure trumps my desire to be a home-body. It's one of those "she makes me a better person" things that I really love about her.

I'll be offline for a while. If you know me on FB I may be making status updates there when I can, otherwise they'll be pictures up when I get back.

Looks like Em's days as an intrepid reporter are over (or at least suspended).

Our local newspaper shut its doors yesterday despite being profitable, despite having great reporting, despite being the only real source of solid local news in two upstate New York counties.

What's really sad to me is the loss for the community. Yes, Em has lost an income stream, but it wasn't a huge one for us. And yes it means that someone else who is very close to our family is out of a job (if you know me, you'll know who it is and he is OK, in fact he is really excited and has some plans in the works). But the biggest loss is to the community.

Where I live we are kind of caught between several "big" news areas -- too far north for the Hudson valley papers to cover us and just far enough outside of the Capital Region to get any coverage beyond the big stories. But what about the day to day? The town and village meeting, the school boards, the Eagle Scouts and Honor Rolls, the local elections and smaller development issues and hell, even the police blotter.

These are the details that bind our local interests together and make us a real community and now we have no one covering them (for now).

Allegedly, attempts to buy the paper were rebuffed. It seems that it had more value as an accounting write-off then as a sale. Well, this is one subscriber saying that is bulls***. Today I am sad.

NOTE: this is the "official" announcement of DMTU's entry into the world. If you got this via email, sorry for the duplication. I'll try to provide more narrative later.

DMTU - day one

"The waiting is the hardest part" -- Tom Petty

Argyle was due on Friday. If history had repeated itself, Em would have woken me up around 2 AM Friday morning  and 5 hours later it would have all been over. But when scheduled C-sections are not involved, labor and delivery is rarely predictable.

When MLTU was born we had little time to wait. That last week was full of activity. It was Em's final week at work and her entire family was coming to town for Easter. There was a lot of planning and phone calls about who was staying where, what we were doing and where to eat dinner. That Saturday was perfect. We had a long walk through the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, went to the Brooklyn Museum and had a huge "Easter dinner" at Moutard, our favorite French place in Park Slope.

And then, at 2 AM on her due date, MLTU began her rapid journey into the world. It was all over so fast, we hardly had time to think "when is this kid coming?"

But this time is a little different. For starters, there is no holiday this weekend to distract us and the "whole family" is 20 minutes down the road. Then there is the fact that Em's sister is in town to help with the birth so there is another person nearby who is also waiting. And finally there is the fact that this time we know that we likely only have a few hours from first contraction to delivery, so we are a little more anxious about making it to the hospital on time.

I left work on Friday with everyone saying "good luck" and "see you after Memorial Day". But now it looks more likely that I will be in the office tomorrow and on my 10 AM conference call.

On the one hand, Tom Petty was right, the waiting is the hardest part. I really want to meet this kid and find out what he or she is like. Em and I are both ready for this to be over and to have a newborn again.

But on the other hand this has been a great weekend. MLTU is at her summer home (the Grandparent's house) to make things easier when labor does begin and Em did not go to work this weekend. For the first time in a long time, we actually got to spend the whole weekend together. And just like before MLTU was born, we have had time to just hang out, watch TV (and eat dinner while watching TV) and take an hour long walk together.

Right before MLTU was born our doula told us that we should reflect on the moments before the birth because our time as a couple was about to end out our time as a family was about to begin. It seemed like a daunting statement at the time, but in retrospect, it made total sense. Once you have a child it is no longer "you and me" it is "all of us".

And while I would never in a million years go back to a time before MLTU was in our life, it has been nice to have a pause while we wait and enjoy the simple moments that couples have. Any day now the three of us will become the four of us.

Two final side notes:

- MLTU was looking at the infant car seat the other day and I said to her "Do you know who that is for?" She responded "My baby sister." After my heart melted, I explained to her that we don't know if Argyle is a girl or a boy to which she responded "My baby brother." Man I love that kid.

- During our walk Em had this brilliant observation on nostalgia: "I think that it is important to look back on the past with humor, because we were pretty stupid back then."

I love my wife.