14 posts tagged “work”
I swear that I thought of this 5 years ago.
Some one has created an online tool that lets you calculate the cost of a meeting by entering the average salary of everyone in the room and counting the minutes (via Boing Boing of course).
Being an advertising guy, my idea had to do with billable hours. I thought that every conference room in the agency should have a little box. When you enter the room you swipe your ID (which knows your billable rate). Every five minutes the box is updated with the real time cost of the meeting.
For client projects this makes it easy to quantify the cost for the project. But for "non-billable" meetings it allows you to see how many agency resources you waste.
The goal is the same: shorter meetings for all of us. Once you have the counter you are not just wasting time, you are wasting money.
Remember how I told you that my initials sometimes cause unintentionally inappropriate lines in memos or emails? Well, it happened today.
In a group correspondence, co-worker 1 was approving something I sent him and also telling co-worker 2 how this document would impact his project. In his email, co-worker 1 essentially said (paraphrasing):
This is approved. Co-worker 2, please note that this will impact your project (FAU to f/u), but it should be easy to edit.
Awwww, that's right!!! FAU is going to f/u!!!! Bring it co-worker 2!!!
What's that? F/u is commonly used business shorthand?
Well f-me I didn't know that.
Colo. rejects 'ILOVTOFU' license plate
Officials said Kelley Coffman-Lee's request for a personalized plate with the phrase "ILVTOFU" was rejected due to concerns that it could be misread as "I-LV-TO-F-U," KMGH-TV, Denver, reported Wednesday.
I have to say that I sympathize with Ms. Coffman-Lee. In their infinite wisdom, my parents felt that a first name with an "F" would go great with a last name stating in "U". Luckily they gave me a middle initial that begins with a vowel so my monogram is a word (kind of).
On two occasions in my career I have worked at companies where initials are used to denote people in memos, emails and meeting notices. So, for example, tomorrow I have a meeting with RL, NJ, VV and GJ. In both places I have urged my coworkers to use my three letter initials to avoid any hint of obscenity (lest a "good job" email signed "FU" be taken the wrong way). But every now and then a meeting organizer or memo author is not up to speed and I glance down to see "FU" looking up at me.
It seems that the state of Colorado is up to speed. In fact they go even further and ban letter combinations like PIG and KKK (maybe they should add AIG to that list).
So what is a poor vegan to do when expressing yourself via license plate is not an option? Turn to PETA of course, who astutely put out this press release in support of Ms. Coffman-Lee (with stats supporting their cause).
Maybe PETA can turn the I-LV-TO-F-U incident into the basis for their next ad campaign. They already have the talent in the buff (all links SFW). Why not kick it up a notch?
I want to rant about this (personally I'd work 14 hour days and not see my family for a $742,006.40 bonus) and I want to rant about how my damn DVD burner is not working and how much I hate Dell and Microsoft.
I also want to rant about Twitter and how much I am hating on it right now.
But I can't, because I am thinking about my recent loss and about my job and I am totally freaked out. And I am not good when I get freaked out. I tend to demotivate and freeze up out of fear, which is what I am doing these days.
F**k.
Today we had a large meeting at my company in which our President was going to highlight the new features of the internal company blog (which is really cool looking and very useful).
It just so happened that our Internet connection was VERY slow around the time of this meeting, so when he tried to click a link he got the spinning wheel, but no new page. There he stood waiting for the page load and:
President: Is something wrong with the site?
FAU (from the back of the room): I think the internets are running slow.
President: The whats are slow.
FAU: The internets.
Rest of FAU's agency (including President): [Laughter]
Yes that's right people, I have no business to offer you, but I can be your Jon Stewart.
Well, I have been waiting and now I know.
We lost.
Another year, another failed pitch. At 0 for 2 I do not have a good track record at this place.
Anyone looking for an Account Supervisor?
In addition to the waiting game that happens after a pitch there is another thing that begins to wear on you: co-workers asking if we "heard anything" yet. Look, I understand, they are all invested in this process too. They care and they all an us to win.
But here's the thing: if I heard good news I'd be dancing in the hallway. So if you have not heard good news then there is either no news or bad news. At this point I am just staying my my office to avoid casual conversation. Of course, a man has to use the bathroom at some point (yes, someone asked me about it while I was in the can).
I am glad that everyone is pulling for us. It does feel great to have people around me that see this as a win for all of us (and it really would be). But at this point it feels like I have a car full of people asking me if we're there yet. We're close guys, we're close.
I hate waiting. And right now I am waiting to hear if I am going to have a good year or a bad year professionally.
Before I left for South Africa I worked a 16 hour day (one hour shorter than the flight to S.A.) getting a new business proposal out the door. The proposal was to my current client, an older company (but not that old) that is looking to redefine their brand. We have been working with them, holding their hand and trying to pull them along to this moment for about two years. But it was decided that for a project this big they needed to put out and RFP and get several bids.
So, there we are, a small-ish agency in upstate New York going up against several nationally recognized branding firms, standing on the strength of our relationship with the client and our experience re-branding similar organizations.
It is a two-round pitch: Round One was the proposal ("outline your branding philosophy and process, provide case studies and references"). Round Two was a face-to-face meeting to walk through our process and answer questions.
We put together an awesome proposal and an outstanding presentation. By all accounts, the pitch meeting went great. And now we have to wait to hear if we have won (meaning I will have a good year) or if, like last time I pitched, we lost (meaning...does anyone have an opening for an Account Supervior?). I am likely being overdramatic. Em says I need to take a deep breath and relax.
But I have found that the post-pitch wait is really, really hard. You have worked and worked and put so much energy into the pitch and then you just have to sit and wait for the phone to ring. It's not a great system. You have no control once you walk out of the pitch meeting and you have no clue what others are saying or the factors that are influencing your clients (or prospective clients).
And this is a big one for me. If we win, it sets my agency on solid footing for the future with this client and it gives be a whole new career expirience. If we don't win...I don't want to think about that.
Pitches are exciting. They are like asking someone out on a date. The probelm is you generally have to ask them out two of three times (the rounds) and after you ask them you have to wait a week to hear what they say. Oh, and three or more other guys are asking them out at the same time, and some of them are better looking (but not as nice).
The wait is the hardest part.
Yesterday I noted how similar my life seems to be tracking to Mad Men. Today I found out that like Sterling Cooper, my team did not have successful pitch last week.
Comfort me oh wise Roger Sterling, your words seem so much more appropriate today:
Don't you love the chase? Sometimes it doesn't work out, those are the stakes. But when it does work out...it's like having that first cigarette. Head gets all dizzy, your heart pounds, knees go weak. Remember that? [Pause] Old business is just old business.
Bummer. This stinks. Professionally, I have never lost this big before.
